I’m visiting my new niece this week who is about to turn one month. It’s so intriguing to watch her – she’s fearless and confident. At less than 10 pounds she can’t do anything on her own, but that doesn’t stop her from letting us know what she wants and when she wants it. Her little skull plates haven’t molded together yet to protect her head, but she’s still wants to move around and explore. She falls asleep at the drop of a hat, anywhere and everywhere, having confidence that we will look after her and she will be fine. She knows I love her little finger squeezes. And on top of it all, she can’t help but smell amazing.
While I know that she also hasn’t experienced a lot of the world and has an undeveloped brain, I realized I’m kind of envious of her state of mind. You can laugh, I can take it… but seriously, wouldn’t it be kind of nice to go back to being a baby for a little while? It sounds scary on one hand but freeing on the other… treating life like I just came out of a black hole for 9 months and am exploring things for the first time, on my own, forming my own opinions and thoughts from a blank slate. Giving people the benefit of the doubt that they have my back and will step up when the time comes. Knowing that I can demand things from people and that they want to step in and love me, just as I am.
It’s interesting to think about how to apply it to my life… Should I be more adventurous? Should I take more time to form my own opinions before seeking the advice of others? What do I do with all pain and history of lessons past? What do I do with the shower gels that are clearly not making me smell as good as my niece? I don’t want to disregard the things I’ve learned, but I do think I need to learn to “just be” more – not assume the worst of people or situations, appreciate the opportunities and people that come into my life, and never forget what I once did – come into the world after 9 months of hibernation and “just be.”
Leslie Delery 