As a millennial female, I’ve grown up in the age of the independent woman. I’ve been told that I can have it all and if I work hard enough, my dreams WILL come true. A family, a job that I love, to be healthy and time to do and be good at all the other random things I want to do – whatever it is that I want, I can do it and be successful at it. I can be an extraordinary mother, friend, worker, athlete… the sky is the limit. I think a lot of females in our generation have been told this and tried to go after it. We are the biggest generation of college educated females. We are the biggest generation of females who still work after having kids – 70% of millennial females go back to work after they have a child. We are also the latest generation to marry, pushing off traditional beliefs like families as we pursue other parts of our dreams.
As much as I love the empowerment that’s come with growing up during this time, I have to burst the bubble of optimism and call BS – I think it’s impossible to have it all when having it all means being extraordinary at everything. To start off, there’s not enough time in the day to do everything you want let alone do it well. I have gotten so burnt out from work that I would wake up for 2 hours every night along with other physical ailments that started to appear throughout my body (trying to keep it PG here people). Next, there’s physical and biological factors that do limit us in various ways. Our biological clock is sadly ticking!! And not just for carrying a baby but also having the energy to raise one. Lastly, when you try to focus on all these “things you want,” focusing on doing them well can take the fun out of it and make you start to regret the very priorities you set out to achieve. I’ve tried to be the perfect sister, friend, girlfriend, and employee, and it’s left me tired, discouraged, and feeling like a failure at various times for not being good enough, and my extreme reaction is to go runaway and live on a mountain by myself. I have friends who feel the same way about being a mom – they feel like they aren’t a good enough mom because they aren’t breast feeding long enough or have hired help.
I had an eye opening conversation with a 19-year-old female student the other day who was stressed about how she was going to achieve everything she wants in life. It’s scary to think how what was meant to be empowering has now become stressful because of the reality of how hard it is to be extraordinary at everything. So I think we need to help the younger millennials hear our struggles as a female in this day in age and see the reality of being an independent female. The truth is, females aren’t superhuman and we can’t have it all, but it doesn’t mean life isn’t going to be all you want it to be. If we prioritize our time and energy, pick what’s most important to us and accept our limitations, we will be happier with being extraordinary at some things and relaxing and enjoying all things in our life.
Leslie Delery 