Resolution? More like Dissolution…

You setting your New Year’s resolutions 2 weeks ago: This year is going to be my year! I am going to get in the best shape of my life, stop eating sweets and learn to paint. I have wanted to learn to paint for ten years.

You today: I made it to the gym 5 days last week, but this week was really hard because it was cold. I think I’ll adjust my goal to 4 days a week which is more realistic. I still want to cut out sweets but I’ll start once the leftover holiday cookies are gone. I froze them but they actually taste better frozen. I’ve been painting at least once a week, and that’s been fun!

Can you relate? It hasn’t even been two weeks since you set your resolutions, but the grandiose plans you had for yourself this year are starting to slip through your fingers. Resolutions seem so good on paper but are so hard to actually accomplish. The psychology of it all reminds me of a Someecard I saw that said: “I screwed up my diet for this Monday. Looks like I’ll have to wait until next Monday since diets can’t possibly start on any other day of the week.” As soon as the smallest signs of defeat surface we figure, what’s the point and then push it off until some other day that never comes.

Before you abandon changes that could make YOU happier, I want to pose and discuss 3 simple questions. Answering these will help you identify barriers that could actually be self-sabotaging your progress.

1. Is your resolution something you can accomplish weekly? If not, your goal may be too big for your brain to handle. A social psychologist at NYU explained that when a goal is challenging but seems like something we can achieve, our body reacts and gets ready to go into action towards our goal. If a goal is too big, our body literally doesn’t have a reaction to setting the goal, indicating we may be setting ourselves up to fail from the beginning. So, if setting a goal to lose 10 pounds this year feels too big, set your goal to lose a pound a week. After you lose the pound and feel not only physically good but also mentally excited from the chemical boost in your brain, you are more likely to set another.
2. What have you CHANGED about your LIFESTYLE to help you reach your goal? For example, if your goal is to change your eating habits, have you changed what groceries you buy or where you eat out? Have you changed when you grocery shop? Have you researched the types of foods that would help you accomplish your goal? Goals are easy to set and sometimes even a plan is easy to set, but what’s not easy is seeing all the indirect ways our habits make our goals impossible. Before you decide that it’s too hard to cut out sweets or some other eating habit, look at the steps that lead up to you eating and decide if there is anything in that process that you can change to help you stay more on track. For me, when I try to lose weight, I know I can’t grocery shop hungry otherwise I’m going home with box macaroni (don’t be a hater, it’s delicious).
3. Do you let yourself take breaks from your resolution? Change is hard. Everyday we have different emotions and sometimes those emotions don’t agree with wanting us to be “better” or accomplish what we actually do in fact want to accomplish. Sometimes we just want to live in our comfort zone and relax. When you are trying something new (like painting) or trying to change, you are still pushing yourself to do something that isn’t your normal so it takes additional energy to keep going. Taking a break may give you the mental permission to slip up that will actually keep you going – and when it comes to food or working out, sometimes by going back to old habits, you realize that your old habits actually make you feel worse, motivating you to keep sticking to your resolution.