In a world of increased access, quitting is always tempting. Whether it’s a marriage, job, or friendship, when things get tough, the ease with which we can find an alternative nowadays makes it easy to walk away. Companies are focused on getting us information in an easy to understand, accessible way which makes it all the harder to avoid seeing the alternatives. Why work through a communication gap when LinkedIn is emailing you all the companies who viewed your profile? Why stick through a relationship when Tinder’s already shown you a list of five people who might not care about how you floss your teeth? Even our cooking choices have improved. With the option of a hot meal delivered right to your door, we don’t have to “Iron Chef it” and try to make a meal out of corn meal, broccoli and beef. In a consumer driven, technology centered society, we have to be conscious of its impact and how that might be changing our attitude towards trying.
Data across multiple generations shows a shift in attitude that I think could have to do with increased optionality. According to information analyzed by LinkedIn, over the past 20 years, the average number of jobs people have within five years out of college has doubled and the number of jobs people hold five to ten years after school has increased as well. Based on research done by Bowling Green State University, the number of people over the age of 50 divorced in a given year has doubled from 1990 to 2010. Even if you don’t believe these numbers, do a little self assessment: If you are really honest with yourself, how many times have you thought of walking away from something only because you saw another option that looked easier?
Of course there are multiple reasons why people might move jobs or divorce, but the psychology of knowing there are other options does influence our decision to leave. Knowing this, we need to recognize how this could be subconsciously influencing our decisions and whether we are truly giving things our best shot. We need to be excited to take on conflicts that are awkward or seem like they have no solution because there is always a benefit to trying to work through something even if it’s just learning more about you. It’s great technology provides so many options and societal norms embrace changing your mind, but its up to us to put on the guardrails of how to use it.
Leslie Delery 