Double Jeopardyis still one of my favorite movies – there’s drama, revenge and Ashley Judd. But one scene I can’t stomach is when she is in the cemetery – she’s locked in a casket, inside a mausoleum, and no one can hear her. She’s yells and screams. Nothing. Have you ever felt like that in your own life? You are trying with all your might to get people’s attention yet you are ignored? I think a lot of people feel this way right now – Colin Kaepernick felt this way so he kneeled during the national anthem. Women around the world feel this way so are protesting through the #MeToo movement. In some ways it reminds me of a child who is injured but doesn’t know how to talk yet – you see the child trying to get attention but can’t see the real wound that needs to be addressed.
While I can empathize with what others are feeling, this feeling of silently screaming didn’t fully hit home until I had a near death ladder fall a few weeks ago. My apartment building in NYC has been undergoing a stairwell renovation in which we only have one stairwell into/out of the building. Aside from the noise and dust, my building management company was supposed to notify us to leave the building on the days when the actual stairs were being replaced so we could vacate the building; however, they failed to do so. I had to leave the building in the middle of the day, and my only two options were them “holding the stairs” (because the stairs had been completely removed between floors) or using a ladder. I should have chosen a third option and cancelled my plans, but instead, I chose the ladder. Stretched almost one full flight in length, the extension ladder brackets came undone as I went down. A worker named Anthony (shout out cause he’s a rockstar) caught me as I landed on the bottom, so I was only left with bruises, a deep cut, and coping with the trauma.
Before the incident, I had multiple conversations with the management company about how I work from home so leave frequently throughout the day, etc. After the incident, I’ve upped my communication and tried even harder to get them to communicate better because the construction still isn’t finished. Yet, the negligence continues, and as I try to get NYC to look into this problematic situation via the organizations available to me, I feel completely invisible. It’s super frustrating. And it hurts. I feel like no matter how hard I try, the process is set up to favor the side that I’m not on. And for once, I really understand what it’s like to be in that position.
There are so many people silently screaming nowadays because they too feel hurt. Maybe it’s for something that happened in history or maybe it’s an incident that directly impacted them. Regardless of why, it won’t go away if the wounded are dismissed or only topically addressed. Deep wounds require invasive treatment, and sometimes treatment for one issue reveals that there was a deeper and different problem that is actually at stake. So if you are the one in that position, keep pressing on. Take the time to define the vision for where you want things to change, and look for opportunities for genuine discussion with people different from you. And if you are on the other side and don’t understand why people are so upset, ask. Explore. Don’t tell other people how they should or shouldn’t be reacting to the past. Take the time to truly listen and see how maybe together, we can move from history to the future.
Leslie Delery 